The other side

Far faraway flowers flourish

Hither hallucinating hurricanes howls.

There tailored treats are tasted

Here bulging bargained bowels

Take me to the kingdom past cotton clouds

that curiously curtains  calming serenity

Let me leech on the love ludicrously

Let me live freely.

©srijaprasita

Dawn

Dials that turn consistently 

and wheels that do not stop 

take me to the secluded space 

beyond the reach of my comfort.

Where my discomforts are hidden 

and dreams are secured,

but within the bars of memories

and under lock and key of discord.

The thoughts like bouncing balls

bounces through the four walls

and the shadows wraps me within

chained with the whispers mundane.

Thoughts of you then out of blue

Lights the hope, though unknown

And then my shadows and me

on our own, we smile as one.

With the tangerine horizon,

poof goes the surreal validation

The smile I had the night afore

then becomes my figment of imagination

like the dreams lost in the mist of morn

for the ones whose eyes are always open.

©srijaprasita

Union

 When the sun sinks it's amber in the horizon

and the moon melts in the sky

with it's silvery hue,

I would follow the twinkling stars

winking banters back and forth.

The wood sprite would lead the way

across the stream towards the lake

and under the moonlit canopy

I would search for your reflection

in the serene water surface.

I would make sure no ripples are formed

for I know you thrive in peace

while chaos is my maiden name.

For one day I know we shall unite

at twilight

like day and night.

For one day by this clearing

I would breathe my last air

My words would then dissipate

my sighs merged with thin air

and like the approaching dawn

we would finally be one

as we were always meant to be.

We would be forever known as eclipse

where dark and light co-exists.

©srijaprasita

The Paper Boat

The dainty fingers that's holding me

Knows nothing beyond the joy I bring.

As the thunder rolls up above the sky

The little heart he has leaps with joy.

And I know I shall embark on a journey

A whole lot of adventure waits for me

For I shall travel along windswept ripples

along with the memories and goofy scribbles.

I know I am made to float and sink

I know like a dream I am meant for an end.

But the smile I bring to the tiny eyes

And the cahoots and laughter that pass me by

Makes me wonder, what if I survived

the pouring rain and the angry tide.

Then I shall travel along the windswept ripples

along with the memories and goofy scribbles.

As I am laid on the murky stream

I can hear my surfaces scream.

The wilting began as soon as I am laid

And I saw the gleam in his eyes fade.

I moved forward with a fight

And I was greeted with claps of delight.

And now I am traveling along windswept ripples

along with the memories and goofy scribbles.

Soon enough, soon enough my senses reeled

Not that far away from the field

And I can feel the struggles inside

But then I see, of me he was tired

He has left with his fellow mates

Hence I am safe to rest to my fate

For I have travelled along windswept ripples

along with his memories and goofy scribbles.

© srijaprasita

Shishir

He

is the curious amalgam of 

spoken words and silences,

congregation of woes and laughter,

the depth not yet conquered

not measured, yet feared.

He

is the solitary lamp on hilltop,

brightening the vast stretch of land in dark

yet his eyes

just stares past his peripherals

seeking the hidden treasures beyond.

He

is the wordsmith of his own kind

churns out gold even without trying

yet he sees not the pull

and marks his void through and through.

He 

is the winter of different sort

frozen exterior with a warm heart.

The ice he projects, is jitter not shame

He is a definite anomaly

of his given name.

© srijaprasita

The meaning of the name Shishir is winter in Nepali. This is about a guy I know, someone whom I consider family.

Beyond me?

 With the swish of my will

I make the zephyr bow.

The rain falls on my command

And cloaks the dreary cold.

I could make you cry on whim

I could make or break your esteem.

Hence do not seek me out my love

I am the storm after the calm.

I know nothing beyond me

I am the king of my own realm.

©srijaprasita

The Siren Song

She was a siren

with broken teeth and detached fin

who had been nursing her hounds

but never quite healing.

She did roam, albeit within boundaries

drifting along the murky clouds

and the hailstorms

singing forgotten songs of centuries.

The diamond of first water,

she was named

yet the shine she had, her smile

enclosed and tamed

to reflect off the walls and halls

that she unwillingly chose

for willingly exchanging her name.

Yet one particular downpour,

in the jet-black night,

broke through the walls

that held her inside.

As the dams broke down

and hell broke loose,

she climbed up her marital bed

for her captor to irrevocably take

her remaining sense of sanity.

When he was high in throes of pleasure

she stabbed him midway.

She bathed in his blood

until the last trace of breath left.

Eyes wide she was visibly shaken,

Yet with the echoes of the siren song

her laughter sounded hysterical

celebrating the love that was sowed 

and revenge that was taken.

© srijaprasita

Haunted

She was a fiery sprite

who with her dainty steps

left behind the trail of blooms

across the hills and moors of hope.

She was a ballerina

who danced with the wind

and spun love and dreams

scattered it over the slope

for others to pick them up

and wear them as their crown.

On one stormy night

wizard of the dark realm,

smitten with her smile

caged her in his unrelenting grasp

squeezing every single drop

of magic she held.

Drained and dried, with a final goodbye

she left unchaperoned

leaving behind the haunting shadows

over the vast stretch of snowy canvas.

And every once in a while

they hear the bell ring

with her cries

echoing in tandem

with the wails of storm that passes by

leaving behind the scattering remains

of broken twigs.

© srijaprasita

Painted Maladies

To the one with deep pockets and mighty swords

and dazzling crowns of power and say
the wrung ballad of the zephyr
was drastically tuned to match the shreds of resilience
and thus storm was brewed to keep them safe
while I was blown to their lair of unknown.
Snuggled together in the fickle grasp of my resolve
all the while
succumbing to their enraptured beastly presence.
The tapestry of their exquisite realm was
woven with the replicas of assembled dreams
and trodden self-esteem,
covered with trampled over the sheath of apprehension.
Underneath the screeching heartbeat
bolted inside my skin, I curled over the scribbles
of shushed stories
titled excruciating pain of painted maladies.
The sounds of my struggles were caged in comfort
and comforted in the cage, identities more often duplicated.
Now that I lie at the bottom of the bottomless pit;
at the end of the endless woe
inside my candy-like dainty dome
disoriented on my own
and scattered as fragments in this mortal world,
I am traveling via uncharted vessel
towards salvation and through the point of no return.
Haunting shadows above all is my escape.
and now I am waiting for the time of their catastrophic take.
© srijaprasita

The One

The walls she built

every brick carefully laid
overtime as she grew
With dark clouds
hovering overhead
and freezing mist of nightmares
following her about.
Yet she yields magic
and let wanderers penetrate the shield
leading them to the holdings
of love and compassion.
She is the fire that blazes eternal
yet the drop of joy pours nonetheless.
She is an enigma, the puzzle of the world
where fire and ice co-exist.
For the love she bestows
overwhelmingly endearing.
For the qualms she has
overtly amazing.
For the words, she spouts,
the truth that pinches,
overbearing,
Yet,
the cocoon of her embrace,
the drizzle of her smile
and the downpour of her laughter
shines like the first rays of the sun
tearing away the cloak of the dark.
She is the blend of the day and night
ethereal like the dusk and the dawn
that holds the mysteries of the world
with unembraced and unnoticed identity
unique, the only one.
The prize you ought to embrace, not own.
© srijaprasita

Stardust

The calming wave of compassion

by the shore of reminiscent relics

makes me dwell on the reverie

just by the unlocked door.

I hesitate often, move forward and halt

to take two steps back for one

by the patio outside

with serenade of broken thoughts.

The words get submerged

beneath the frozen depth of my heart

and my calls muted to the world.

you are just beyond the door,

ajar to me but everyone.

You are but buried as deep as me

with nascent beats of agony

reactive to every thought.

Just a crack of opening

yet I can feel your beating heart.

The fragile twig of connection

between our parallel worlds

let's add some more seeds of spring

let it grow sapling to tree.

The twig shall then grow stronger.

And by the time both our worlds end

beyond and past the apocalypse,

our love shall live scattered

like the sparkling stardust.

-srijaprasita

Ruminate

For the smile, I see emanating from your eyes

Is the same reflected on mine
You see but yourself a lost cause
I see but myself a force to dodge
Yet somehow,
Somehow it makes sense
For me to find you amongst the forgotten cause
And for you to halt my overflowing concern.
Somehow the wishes we wished upon the stars
And the sunrise we embraced together
Ended up
Fulfilling the wishes
which I never thought
would connect me to you.
But then I question at times
the rhymes of heart
is it the same for you as it is for me?
But then I question million times
without that one intoxicated night
what would have happened
to the heart of yours
and the heart of mine?

-srijaprasita

Omnipresent

You found me withholding scars
amidst the shaken existence.
With strokes of innocent acceptance
you painted me like an origami.
And I learned to sigh
in the arresting warmth of your embrace.

You found me singing hymns of sorrow
amidst the tempest of trodden dreams.
With strokes of bittersweet cognizance
you filled in the barren pages after pages
of my existence.
And I learned to smile
in the nurturing essence of your presence.

You found me lost in myself
within the abyss of loneliness
And with strokes of unwavering surveillance
you sketched me into your poetries
immortalizing me for centuries
like a perfect piece of the jigsaw puzzle, that's your life.
And I learned to fly
with the flight of dreams that you weaved for me.

Under the tangerine sky you ruffled my feathers.
I fidgeted in panic as you stripped me of logic.
You ushered me into a free fall of emotions.
Yet the throbbing music of your whispers
hummed through me
until I morphed into your silhouette.
And now
betwixt losing you and losing myself
I choose the latter
for I exist in you
and you are omnipresent at least to me.
©srijaprasita

Metamorphosis

Night screams in colours people say

But even my dreams are black and white.

For the colors that I had dreamt of 

at a wee age of ten

was snatched away by those groping hands 

those I thought would protect me instead.

To date I feel the crawl of that roaming fingers.

To date I feel the weight of that sweaty chest

the very one where I had rested my head and slept.

But the weight then felt different

the breath familiar yet strange.

To date I feel the dreary exploration

the suffocating lusty ministration

To date I feel the intrusion

and my plea of suffocation.

To date I feel my gagged scream

and the tears of blood I shed.

To date I feel the helplessness

and pain of my innocence in shreds.

So now you see I am peeling off

Every single inch of my skin

to free my self from those imprints

permanently etched upon it.

And when you see me throwing up

the blood in my veins

know that I am trying to reshape me

for I am the blood of the one who raped me.

©srijaprasita

Until You

Do you know how it feels like

when the warmth recedes

leaving you buried six feet under the snow?

I know how the murmurs die down

struggle dissipates

along with the dreams

and muffled screams become whimpers

leaving behind echoing silences 

scattered over the vast stretch

of snowscapes.

And I know this because

everytime you wear your vanishing cloak

spring leaves me unattended

Summer forgets to rise

and me, the Bohemian soul,

singing effusively morose songs of solitude

waits for you at the wide junction

by the boulevard of my love

waiting and waiting

as the snow piles over me

freezing my heart.

Until you

come again

knocking on my door

thawing me 

and melting my solitude.

©srijaprasita

Hiraeth

Underneath the deep saffron sprayed sky
I try freezing the tide of time
holding onto the diaphanous
sheer cover of
the impending dusk
inadequately.
For,
despite my efforts,
the voices rise
as the light dims
and the night screams of solitude
for the eyes to see;
chaotic for my memories
that comes out
one by one
through
the locked doors
of
my consciousness.
My distressed soul then delves
deep into
the benthic woe
relentlessly fighting
dystopia
And
as my nerves
sediments
underneath the current
I become homesick
for my home
which
never existed.

My spiderling

My teeny tiny spiderling
came back to me crawling

"Hey spidy doo, how you doing?"
"Oh no spidy, call me Bing"
"What? How? Who named you?"
"There's a people, doodle Doo
Laying on a comfy bed
and the bedsheet nasty red.
That people did want a fight
But then he did scream in fright"
"You lie Bing, you are wee"
"No doodle, I did claim he"
"How did you? Prey tell?"
"That people sure did yell"
"I still think you are lying"
"No right now people is dying"
"You didn't sting? Did you?"
"People's round tummy peek-a-boo"
"What? Noooo. Not the tummy"
"Yeah doodle. It was yummy"…

Eww was my first thought
But then my spidy is a fraud.
He must have just ran away
and false claim is just his way.
And then my tiny friend
Lays on his back and starts again.

"People was dumb, doodle Doo."
"Oh really? Is it true?"
"Ahh yeah people turned his back
Coz courage, he *crawls* did lack"
"Now Bing, you are not making sense"
"Me does, he was people like you
But he was pretty light too
Wanted to have a creepy fight
But people turned away from my sight
People cracked a joke so lame
Would even put you to shame
So me without wasting time
Stung him, tummy and nose
Crawled up to his fancy dome
To leave people be and return home"

I know very well my spidy
he is a liar of first degree
Yet I cannot help and thus do think
Of the poor man suffering sting
From my naughty spiderling.

© srijaprasita

reverie

As I reach the finale of my finite dream
and as the sweet escape comes to an end,
Once again,
I find myself looking for
limitless and boundless streams of fantasies
humming through my senses.
The reverie where I suspend myself
is where you exist
like the dream flower that blooms
amidst the strewn twigs
of my submission.
With my wistful smile I move,
I know not where,
following the glistening trail
of your footsteps.
The whispers of the crashing waves
from the ocean of affection
calls out to you.
And, I am
the only one who comprehends
the silent echoes of my heartbeat
that rings through the hills
of your world.
I see myself halt once and hide twice
while you stand there
with your arms wide,
an open invitation for invasion.
A phone call jerks me out of my daydream
and your name flashes on the screen.
Reality sinks in, fantasy ends
and I know we are just meant to be friends.
Yet you do exist , on the other hand
as the protagonist of my Dreamland.
© srijaprasita

My words

Somedays words for me are
like stones underneath the river,
slippery
which slips away the moment
I try to hold onto them.
Somedays words for me
are like the epicenters
With tremors and quakes
haphazardly overboard
and with fearful rumble to the core.
Some days words for me
are the innocent smile of children
and toothless grin of elderly
with fantasies at times
and life stories at others
free flow of emotions.
Some days words for me
are like the pedestrian
stuck at traffic
unable to cross the road
waiting for the green signal.
Some days words for me
are like the pages after pages
Of life records
thrown away at a corner somewhere
disguised under the sheath of dust
waiting just waiting for it to be reopened.
Some days words for me
are echoes in the mountain
of emotions repressed
that reverberate
within four walls of my sanctuary.
Most days words for me
are just words
capitalized words of anger
Clipped words of irritation
Drawn words of boredom
cliched words of love
cold words of hatred
meek words of void
revived words of passion.
Just words
with defining adjectives
Just words
written somewhere
Just words
forming a sentence.
Just words
made up of letters.
©srijaprasita

Faceless

As I rummage through
the treasures of my youth
opening the closet of memories,
I see you standing there
amongst the blooming daisies
like an ethereal wood sprite
in human form.
Over the years
only figments of the day
remains with me as relics
and others like dragonflies
move around my periphery
just there
dancing and teasing me
yet out of my reach.
I remember your smile,
hazy image of pearly white teeth,
held hands,
your silk clothes  and my tattered jeans.
I remember the solemn vow
of your touch
that I dared trespass.
I remember how we danced
under the spring sun
as one
weaving fabrics of dreams
and kissed the night away
on a velvety ride.
Yet now everytime I see you
in my world of laments,
I want to ask you
"That day, was it deliberate
that you hid your face?".
Slowly and surely
your image is fading away
to nothingness
and the only picture I have of you
is faceless.
That's how silence echoes
Every single time
chipping away fragments
until the closet is locked again.

Letter to a bug

To the
poor little Buggie
which thinks it can bug me.

Dear Bug,

I see you crawl towards me
with nonchalance
Even my thousand times or more so
weight and towering height
that may seem like mountain,
a moving mountain, when I move
for that matter
doesnot seem to deter you.
I applaud your bravery
in trying to bug me
with your presence.
Little do you know,
there are much much more
number of heavier bugs
weighing me down everyday.

The bug of loneliness is heaviest of all.
It crawls up and down, to and fro
my brain, my heart, into my soul
Feeding away on my essence
and creating a hole, a gap, a void
that's darker and deeper than the abyss
of bleakest presence out there.
Then comes the nightmare,
the bug with poisoned antennas
and thousands of dreary cold legs.
As it creeps in my dreams
it chills me down through my spine
throughout my sleep and waking hours.

Following with it's flying wings
comes the bug of smoldering
jealousy.
Not heaviest, yet strongest of all
and able to move through the wall
Of my closed off heart.
It flies unnoticed to top of my head
navigating my senses
bringing in doubts and rage
and questions old age
make me go green
and scream
wanting more for myself.

Slow and steady comes anger
the bug born and bred with fire.
It feeds on blood of emotions
drains me out
and I puke curses
to regret it later on.
The bug of frustration is my pet.
I have raised and nurtured it
throughout my years of twenty eight.
I fall down, it bugs me
I cry, it clogs me.
I fail, it feeds me
I bail, it reads me.
With my palm on my head
I sigh, I slump, I give in
and my bug keeps winning.

There are others, there are more
I may even write a lore.
But for now, what I have said
Is more than enough for you mate.
So dear Bug, with your tiny frame
you would just hurt yourself.
As you advance towards me
I am writing this letter to you.
Give up fella, you won't do.
You bugginess, dear buggie
wouldn't be able to bug me.

Sincerely,
with all the love from the bugs I have,
srijaprasita.

एउटा कविता

बिहानीको पहिलो रङ्ग सँगै
साँझको बैजनी ढङ्ग सँगै
ती आकाशगंगा मा
बगाइएका बत्ती झै
यता उता
ठोकिँदै
भौतारिरहेका
बादल सँगै
उनको पहिलो हेराई सँगै
मन्द मन्द मुस्कान सँगै
हर एक अंकमाल सँगै
प्रेमील मनको हाल सँगै
निश्चल योग सँगै
निर्दयी वियोग सँगै
अनौठा राग सँगै
सुस्ताएका भाव सँगै
बारी, आली, खेत सँगै
गाउँ, गल्ली , गेट संगै,
असीना सँगै
पसिना सँगै
छानो, आँगन, गोठ सँगै
मिहिनेत र चोट सँगै
भरपुर आहार सँगै
सुनिस्चित स्याहार सँगै
रोग सँगै
भोग सँगै
तनको कम्पन सँगै
मनको संगम सँगै
देशभक्ति सँगै
विद्रोह सँगै
आफू भित्रको चोट सँगै
औँल्याइएको खोट सँगै
अनेकन प्रश्न सँगै
चित्त जलेको भष्म सँगै
यस्तै यस्तै अनेकन
कथा एबम् व्यथा सँगै
अन्तरमनमा लहर छुटेपछि
विकराल भेल झैँ
उर्लिएर
वर्षात झैं
गड्गडाएर
मनै रुझाउने गरी
यसरी जन्मियो एउटा कविता।
©srijaprasita

Limbo

Often

More often

I find myself

Looking for an alternative

to the life I am currently living.

Would the rope that's there

on the floor of my

dark dark room

be enough

to

change the

course of this

Life that I am living?

Would the pearly white pills

that I take every night to sleep

be more than enough to

lull me or should I

take some more

today or perhaps

tomorrow?

Or

May be

just maybe that

small jar of something

an enticing liquid on its own

which is known to burn your insides

if taken would make me

See those things/facts

hidden away from

the untrained

eyes like

mine?

What lays beneath?

What lays beyond?

what's the truth?

Or the lies unknown?

Would I laugh

in the afterlife

for the tears 

I have shed now?

Or would I cry

the tears of blood

much much worse

than it's now?

I know no answers

I know no calls

I know no nothing

outside those walls.

So should I trust the unknown?

Or should I embrace what I own?

Unknown is risk

excitement at best.

Known is lament

which doesn't rest.

And here I am back and forth.

And here I am to and fro.

In a limbo

between standing still

Or just letting it go.

©srijaprasita

Can I go back?

When the amber in the sky
kisses the horizon
and burns the hearth instead
inside every warm little kitchen.
It takes me back to the time
I slept under the canopy of stars,
on the soft cushion of wet grass
listening to the river song.
Back then the dream I had
was folded with the coloured papers
and sailed away with virgin streams.
Some floated, some sank
yet the gigly dream remained stark.
It soared some days
teasing the shape shifting clouds,
secured with a string,
navigating along the wind as it flew.
It remained secured underneath the tree
like the rusted yet intact time capsule.
And to date when the sky changes
to it's burgundy hue
I tread along, humming familiar symphony
surfing along the waves of memories
and some days I ask myself
to make for me a time machine
I would rather visit that child for real
than everyday in my dreams.
©srijaprasita

Faded

I stagger on the velvety call of the night;
the meandering silences
which a while ago had been ruptured into a burst
And smell still lingers in the air.
I stagger again on the velvety call of night
With the bullet wound on my chest
stumbling through the few remnants
of the silvery grey beams
Thrown my way by the peeping moon.
It looks serene like a child playing hide and seek
with the passing cloud;
seems to be teasing me throughout
while the stars mock me
their winks reciprocating their joy
to the pain I have dragged along.
I stop at some ruffles, clothes was it?
Or perhaps a bird flapping it's wings..
It seems my senses cannot identify the exact source..
May be just may be
It's the dog hiding in the bush.
Can it smell my flesh. Can it smell it all?
Is it waiting for me to fall?
Oh yeah the bush, something's swishing behind the hedge
amidst the bushes
Of tragedy perhaps?
The bushes like me, are condemned to be
symbolic to something dreary, mystic, moody
where multitudes of secrets are
clogged with the slitted throats
forced shut mouth
Charred body, bullets bolts
Ripped clothes, torn shoes
and buried high notes of weed song.
I see the same bush in me
and the "hush" in me
the impending rush in me
that push in me
That shushes me to survive.
I drag myself over the lane
Blood dripping out of my vein,
the stained shirt
hazy thought
burning torso.
And so blurry eyes
escaped sighs
and beads of sweat
running downhill.
The air-fairy circles me
evading my senses though
and my legs halt
Sudden,
Expected yet unwanted
My knees crack
and throws me down on my face.
At the onset, I see silhouette
some lights, flashes of some kind
few distant cries
like the mosquito
that buzzes on periphery to the plugged ears
And the tired me close my eyes.
Last I remember
the concrete is warm
Perhaps coz it is summer
but the warmth is fading gradually
And I am trying to remember my name
which seems a distant memory by the second.
© srijaprasita

Desire

Fire is an alias of me
It is me in your ignited soul
When your insides burn,
I light up the world.
Rich or poor, I burn equally
Chandelier or lantern, I burn beautifully.
I am the blaze which is
dancing death for sinners
lightened hope for believers.
I burn hot,
Be it the sky
Be it your mind,
melting away melancholy.
I drop off gold with spring and greenery.
Oh yes!! at times I am accompanied
by thunderclaps and bolts
but these I would say
are occasional bolts of truth
that says everything is not
as easy as it seems.
Yet still
I shall burn for your need.
I shall burn for eternity.
©srijaprasita

If only

If only I could buy
I would have bought the winter snow
And stored it on my freezer.
When the loo of summer becomes too intense
I would have let it fall over me
Those gentle fluffs
Melting on my pristine white carpet
And tinge my skin
Soothing the burn
Of the summer sun.
But then everything I want
Is never on sale.
And even the air I breathe,
however free,
Is stale.
©srijaprasita

Marooned

A benign mind
yet malignant form
shall be raised from the carcass
of trodden dreams
led all the way
to the untrodden path
along the coasts of novel thoughts
in tandem with a bleeding heart.
As it breaks free, from the chains
of conscience that holds him back
on the rule of the darkest dawn
behind the crawling morn.
He shall sip the nectar anew
from the cusp of fortitude
painted black
with darkest shade of red
Swaying within the fine lines
between
dead drunk and drunk dead.
©srijaprasita

Bubble

Every day brings newness
Crispy mornings and burgundy evenings.
And everyday I look back
to the slightly altered imprints on my soul.
As I do that, I realise
Old times have passed
And nascent dreams are getting real
when life is nothing more than
Just a bubble.
*Bursts*
©srijaprasita

My adulterated love

Seven dials and two stones away
I had stored my love on dew drops.
But with the morning the next day
Drizzling and dancing came the rain
to take away the magnificence
mixing up with my dews.
And still today
I am searching every lake
Every river, stream and sea
to find that love within me.
It seems the drops have been fed
To someone else's flower bed
Or perhaps it still runs through
the vein of sapling somewhere.
Maybe, evaporated to form a cloud
and poured down somewhere else
Or maybe it's still there somewhere
amidst the mist I inhale.
These days I do wonder though
With all these shapes and forms;
the possibilities and contingencies
I may not even recognize it
If I ever came across
my adulterated love
ruined by the rain.

Of?

There as the light rumble through the fluffy sheets
To be reflected in the glassy beads
A lonely tortoise
Reverts back into it's shell
Of sanity?
Tranquility?
Or safety?
Or profanity?
©srijaprasita

Figment

I found a girl standing alone
At night, in the rain,
Drenched; shivering
Yet she had a ethereal smile of some sort.
"I am weaving the drizzles in such a way",
She smiled,
"That it sates me and my desire.
It touches every inch of my skin
And I feel fulfilled.
Have you ever felt?
Subtle caress of breeze
that makes you shiver within
With the feeling of entirety?
Like you know you are alive
Like you know you are breathing
As you feel the fingertips
Slowly
Peel away your facades
And dissolve it
In the puddle that forms under your feet?
Have you ever felt naked
to the careful ministration
Of the subsumed whispers
As the thunders roar above while
The night swishes around you?"
As she addressed it to me
I stood there flummoxed
Staring at her and then
Up above the sky.
As the clouds rumbled
With a thunder strike
She vanished
Leaving me behind
With the puddle she talked of.
©srijaprasita

No title

Let's build a dream house upon the sand
And paint it over the blue canvas
with sunsets on the periphery,
well tinged like an oil painting,
and lock it within my dream catcher
so that I can visit there every night.
©srijaprasita

Sunflowers

There she lays on the bed of roses
sipping dew off the leaves
beneath the twigs of the lavender
under the dome of her surrender.
And he a bystander
without a name or identity
stays behind the wind
locked out by the barbed wire
and misty chill of the night.
Ethereal she, inside her home
weary he, plagued by the morn.
Eternity later, in milliseconds;
faceless he, whom she never knew
left behind some sunflowers
with golden hue
and the cold stones
soaked up the warmth
until the petals wilted.

© srijaprasita

The insomnia song

As the sun settles down
and moon peeps through
Amidst the winks of stars
Scrunching through the broken barks
and distant sky larks
You should see me weave my thoughts
using a silk string
twisting it with grandeur and
adding some beads of wishes.
Somedays the string breaks loose,
the beads are scattered
leaving behind a gap
like the void of solitude.
Somedays these are strung tight,
requesting some breathing space,
strung up like my contemplation
over my own ineptitude.

As the sun settles down
And moon peeps through
Cuddled up with the cloak of night
And turned off light
You should come along the way
As I lead you through the doors
Of the castle that I have visited
Multiple times on my head.
The painted fields of sunflowers
to blunt heads of the flower bed.
You should she me as I fly
with the pigs like James Reeves
crossing oceans million times
to the far faraway land.
Somedays be welcomed with a pomp
And ornate bejeweled banquet meal.
Somedays with irked dragons
And monsters of the dreary hill.

As the sun settles down
and moon peeps through
I travel with the words of song
I unravel the mysteries
I think of all that went wrong
I delve into the history.
Off I go off the screen
Beyond the sleep and awakening dreams.
Most days I try counting sheep
And everyday I find them missing.
You should see me when I drown
Or act like a clowny clown
Grooving along "bang a gong".
Or like today writing a song.
Of insomnia.
© srijaprasita

Know me?

Something I wrote wayyy back . I don't even remember when probably 2010

The undaunted desire in me, the eloquence of my dreams
The monopoly of my own influence that thwarts me
The sweetness within the sour source
And the bitter unmarked core
My UFO thoughts are unmasked drugs
And everything in me seems like a folklore
My voice, my feelings, a monstrous myth
I am an alien in a human sheath.

Covered with evident aspirations, yet a solitary silhouette
With a silken covering that covers a hardened attitude
I am a morning hangover,a migraine in noon
A volatile piece of ice and combustible boon
I am the surfing waves, locked in the depth of lake
Desires under a lock and key, yet often let it overtake
A contingent memory indeed
I am a slave of my own need.

I have yet to unearth my secrets
My eccentricities, I have yet to see
So, you with your ideologies
Are you sure that you know me?

Satin sheets

A commissioned poem..once again back in high school 2009-2010

Let me capture the moan of need
beneath the satin sheet
Let me devour you in a devilish greed
beneath the satin sheet
Take your thoughts
bid your time
But once you are with me
you are only mine
I'm through hell waiting
straining to be free
All you have to say is yes
will take you in a sensual spree.....
To hell with 'what ifs?'
To hell with lead
You are all I need
beneath the satin sheet.

Let me peel off your petals
Let me take you on a slow ride
Let me wash on this nectar of yours
Let me drown in this honeyed tide
Your innocent nips
Your feathery kiss
is driving me crazy
Your boiling breath
calls me
out on a maze
With a lazy haze
let me strip you tonight.....
Below the twinkling stars
and the moon that shine
Let me possess you with a guttural growl
'Mine....just mine'

Come on let's have some treat
beneath the satin sheet
You are all that I need
beneath the satin sheet

All alone

I wrote this when I was back in high school..found it just now 2009-2010

Sometimes i left you lonely
sometimes you left me alone
sometimes i fought my way out
sometimes you were just gone
drenched in this downpour
with the cloak of storm
and heart empty of aspiration
i call out to you, my knight in shining armour
but you are distant, you are forlorn
and here again I am all alone

On the battle of submittion
i slew your dreams, claimed victory
in return to your sublimation
i re-wrote my own history
i severed my ties when stakes were high
of my falling down the stinking ditch
And in that process,
I condemned you to darkness instead
now when i crave sunshine, theres none
and here again I'm all alone

i sold your soul and bought a home
you pissed on it and painted black
those specks of white,those i threw aside
you took them on made your paradise
the aquarium of hope has shattered now
and I'm trying to breathe with my dysfunctional gills
and toying with obscure feeling of love
I'm searching for you in abandon.
Here look at me, I'm all alone

Your's Sincerely

Dear Concerned,

You wanted me to lead you;
Direct you to my heart.
But are you willing to walk on thorns
or tear yourself apart?

The path to me, as it proceeds
the rain doesn't fall, the clouds then bleeds.
My heart lies miles-miles away
beyond your hopes, dreams and pleads.

Tell me are you willing to walk
the narrow alleys and darkened subways?
the cobwebs laden stairways
to melting roof of voyage train?

The junction that you would be dropped off
stands on a deserted land
and miles and miles of mystic maze
would await you to move forward.

Not with bushes, but with trees
that touches the sky
branched out
leaving not a shred of light.

Howling wolves, ringing ears
Mourning moors and tingling fears.
The stale and burnt taste in air
and haphazardly placed snares.

You would meet some, as you move
faces of the distant past.
Some who got lost midway,
some just figments, few mirage.

You would find some crying soul,
ghosts of hopes, swishing about;
creaking woods of solitude
and fallacies enticing you.

Once you reach the clearing,
you would find a rocky road,
Leading to castle (my heart)
perched upon a volcano.

You would bleed a thousand time,
the stones cutting not you your soul
As the vacuum clogs you in
Strangling you without air.

By any means, if you reached the door
there, the dragon of my nightmare
would flare it's nose, breathe out fire
Chilling you to the core.

But yeah, if and if by any means
If you managed till there
Don't worry you wouldn't have to
Slay the monster, slay my fear.

I would do it on my own
And you would just have to witness it.
Clearly.

Your's sincerely.
©srijaprasita

रक्सिको मात

आदि र अन्त्य नभएनी मलाई सुरुवात थाहा छ
मलाई रक्सिको मात थाहा छ I

दुर्गन्धको खात थाहा छ
सुगन्धको बर्षात थाहा छ
सान्नानीको कम्मरैको कालो तील को बात थाहा छ
मलाई रक्सिको मात थाहा छ I

जुवा तासको साथ थाहा छ
त्यहि साथको घात थाहा छ
लडिबुडि हल्लिएर गटरमा बिताएको रात थाहा छ
मलाई रक्सिको मात थाहा छ I

दुनीयाको जात थाहा छ
लडाइमा भाँचिएका दाँत थाहा छ
बैसालु नसालु ती नजरैको झुक्याउने प्रणिपात थाहा छ
मलाई रक्सिको मात थहा छ I

आदि र अन्त्य नभएनी मलाइ सुरुवात थाहा छ
मलाई रक्सिको मात थाहा छ
त्यहि मातको सौगात थाहा छ I
©srijaprasita

Wine

The cusp of your chalice
holds my dreams
and as I pour myself to you,
I see few droplets
Fly around
Just to roll down your slender fingers.
You smile at me,
Taunt me, bringing it closer
and before you sip me away
you wink and leave the chalice on the tray.
"Sweetheart, you know I don't drink wine"
the whisper echoes
as you walk away,
with those remnants
of me
spilled upon you.
The abandoned chalice,
Equally lonely me
stand bewildered.
©srijaprasita

नखोज मलाई (Do not search for me)

तिमी प्रहर मा नखोज मलाई, अनन्त छु म।
तिमी सहर मा नखोज मलाई, असीमित छु म।
तिमी निबन्ध मा नखोज मलाई, अर्थ हिन छु म।
तिमी सम्बन्ध मा नखोज मलाई, कहिँ विलीन छु म।
सुन न म केवल आवाज हुँ, गुन्जी रहन्छु,
म केवल वर्षात हुँ, बर्सी रहन्छु,
तर अड्किने छैन तिम्रो मानसपटलमा
र अटाउने छैन तिम्रो अञ्जुलीमा।

I,
Will never fall into your grasp
For I exist, beyond your imagination
I'm a figment surpassing your comprehension
I'm the stars, the sky, existence itself
Let me drown in myself
Just set me free
From the captivity
Of musings in your head.

समेट्न खोज्दा मलाई अँगालोमा, कैयौं पटक राख भयौ।
मेरो विकराल रूप सँगै कैयौं पटक खाक भयौ।
तिमी तलावमा नखोज मलाई, सल्बलाउने नदी हुँ म।
तिमी आलाप मा नखोज मलाई, सदैव संगीतहिन छु म।
सुन न म केवल आभास हुँ, विलाई जाने छु,
म केवल झिनो आस हुँ, रुलाई जाने छु,
तर फर्किने छैन तिम्रो मंजिल मा
र रित्तिने छैन तिम्रो अश्रु मा।

After all, I was never meant to be bound
To beings that tend to stay submerged
In their own misery, haunting themselves
You, are one, letting yourself be swept off
Your feet by a hurricane like me,
It's more than dangerous you see,
As I can rattle you to your bones
Ruin you, shatter your fragile soul
Don't let your senses fool you
Lull into a sense of false security
I am the one that can't be leashed
The fantasy meant to be out of reach
I'm the one to bring you down to your knees
The power that was meant to surge free
Your frailty, would never be able to embrace me

सुन न म लास भित्र को सास हुँ, क्षण भरको
म मौलाएको श्राप हुँ, तिम्रो जीवन को
I am the book with an unrecognizable script
I live in the dimension you can't relate with
अन्ततः मूर्ख नबन
जीवन तिम्रो अधिकार मेरो, माया तिम्रो आकार मेरो
यो न्याय होइन।

This is a collaboration poem with Prajna Subedi...she contributed to second and fourth stanza.

I wonder

Sometimes I wonder
What would it be like
to fall off the the cloud
as sparkling drops
to meet the earth, kiss
Uh-oh and you;
melt away
and be remembered
for the freshness afterwards.

Sometimes I wonder
what would it be like
to be the thunder that strikes your soul
Ignite your heart, the spark
Uh-oh not like the burned down tree
more like the silver strands
amidst the violet clouds.
More like a beautiful dream.

Sometimes I wonder
what would it be like
to touch you
akin to the first ray of sun
rising up from horizon
steadily warming you up
with the zeal for the new day
new hope
and looking forward to the new end.

And often I wonder
what would it be like
to be synonymous to the air you breathe.
A constant,
A necessity.
Sometimes a soothing breeze
and at times the storm
that blows you away
to the wonderland of affection.

Here I am knitting the dreams
wandering through the hopeless waves.
And there you are, engaging much
Reeling me in yet out of my clutch.
©srijaprasita

उम्लिएको बेहोसी जस्तै

सान्त्वनाको प्रकृती यस्तै, बिलाएको निदरी जस्तै
मनलाई यसै सम्हाल्न खोज्दा, उडेछन भाव तुँवालो जस्तै
लुकाइ आँसु परेली मुनी, फ़ेरेथेँ लामो निस्वास आज
खोजेर पाउने आसा थियो मलाई, हरायो मुहान भात्किए जस्तै
वाश्तवीकताको दोषी जस्तै, उम्लिएको बेहोसी जस्तै

थाह नपाई

तारा को छानो मुनि जब तिमी मलाई झक झकाउँछौं ,
आत्मीयताको आभास हुन्छ
र तिम्रो आवाज सँगै निदरी अंगाल्छु।
सूर्यको पहिलो किरण सँगै, थाह नपाई।

सिरानी मा कोल्टे फेर्दा उम्लिन्छन् भाव हरु
र सलबालाउँछन् हृदय सम्म।
वसन्त र सौन्दर्य को कल्पना मा।
र निखारिन्छन सपनामा।
साथसाथै भयावह स्थिर पनको आभास हुन्छ
र मौनता मा हराउँछन् खुसीहरू।
भावना र वास्तविकता को उल्झन सँगै
अनायासै आँशु झर्छन्।
र तिम्रो आवाज सँगै निदरी आँगल्छु।
सूर्यको पहिलो किरण सँगै, थाह नपाई।

छक्काउने ती क्रुर गलत फहमी
रातभर सुस्ताउँछन् मस्तिष्कमा
र आवाज बनी गुन्जी रहन्छन् हर प्रहर।
कोइली को आवाज मा कागको क्रोदन झै
सम्झना बिथोली विलाई जान्छन्।
तर कल्पना नि उत्तिकै धिट छन्
ओइलिन दिन्नन् अन्तर्मन ले बुनेका सपना।
अन्ततः तिनै कल्पना मा डुबी सुस्केरा  संग सिथिल हुन्छु
र तिम्रो आवाज सँगै निदरी अङ्गाल्छु।
सूर्यको पहिलो किरण सँगै, थाह नपाई।

He

Once upon a time; there a lonely mind,
wandered overboard.
Overthinking much; clarifying such,
ended in discord.
He could do was fall; rather have it all,
fallacies whispered.
He could, but, then rise, following the wise
changing life; it's course.
He just remained though, within the locked doors.
He just thought of those, raging war indoors.
He could have, if tried, buzzed an amused spark.
He claimed himself as, born and bred in dark.

As the days went past; the glee didn't last.
He couldn't come clean.
Believing the tales, of fallen angels,
he was lost within.
Demons and devils, those he dabbled with;
fed on his essence.
Incoherent thoughts, jumbled up in knots,
begging turbulence.
He just remained though, within the caged walls.
He just thought of those failures and falls
He could have, if tried, leave a question mark.
He let himself be, synonym of dark.
©srijaprasita

Envy

I see the rage, crimson red
oozing out, seeping through
dripping off your eyes anew.

I see your fist, clenched as it
is to halt the running flow.
Low your eyes, yet deadly glow.

I see you breathe, short intakes
nose flaring, yet by the screen
behind the scream, you go all green.

I see all slashed, tattered tuxedo
placebo, to the one you owe.
The burn is still as is though.

I see the files scattered,
marred and charred thrown over.
You still feel like a pushover.

I see the knife sharpened though
so edgy like the mutilated picture
and the bottle of unopened elixir.

I see you take in long breath,
shred your thoughts, grab the knife.
Mumbling thoughts of afterlife.

I see the glint in your eyes
prize, the desire to takeover.
Have it all, no leftovers.

I see you peep through the door
floor, but same, yet it held more
name, more fame, more in store.

I see you though, silently tiptoe
Let go of conscience and fear
there, stand and shed a silent tear.

I see you look at the face
the same lines of furrow, the same
sigh of sleeping form, similar name.

I see you raise your hand high
sigh stopped from the sleeping form
like the calm before the storm.

I see the form jerk about.
Shout he couldn't as you staked
his heart, with all your hate.

Eyes wide with surprise, he stilled
Last breath left, with the pierced hilt
Bloodied quilt, blood spilt
and you with much much less guilt.

I see you then realise
eyes closed yet the tears ran
through the bloodied shirt of your best man.

I see you peep at yourself
on the mirror, attached to shelf
Welp you couldn't, you couldn't help.

I see the very image of you
Who laid dead on the floor
And you stood there
As silent as the moor.

Same home, same name, same face
I see even the same blood didn't sway
You and the envy had it's way.
©srijaprasita

Journey

I left behind the mountain of dreams
yet scaled through the steam of hope.
Then smoked hopes to ashes
and inhabited the submerged shore.

I sipped the sunset;fazing warmth
through my cup of blazing gloom.
I survived the crashing waves
fighting tides yet surfing through.

As the velvety cloak of night
wrapped me in his embrace.
I found myself contemplating
mist of memories and worth of morn.

And as I jumped through cliffs of dread
careful enough not to fall,
I found myself peeking about
the throne of thorns where I was born.

I fished in the pool of memories
To return empty hand of glee
I clocked in my instincts
and swam through canal of supremacy.

And when I finally reached the other end
I realised what I had always been.
Despite the calm demeanor
I had been raising a volcano within.

So I left behind my words of woe
buried under the freezing snow.
I killed my muse, my poem was dead.
I killed my muse and met myself.
©srijaprasita

Ode

Every breath I take
heck, I inhale the nature
for, sure, the fragrance
off flowers, misty magic of rainfall.
Take in petunia to roses so red,
dead orchids to damp mud haul,
tall pines to snowballs,
Enthralled
I worship myself
for I can do it all.

Everywhere I see
be it the white fluffs
and puffs dusted over the sky
high hilltop to mountain range
drenched streams to sea mews
hues of dusk to dawn of dews
and majestic allure of waterfall.
Enthralled
I worship myself
for I can feel it all.

The century of wire is here
there, the screen speaks loud and clear.
Bound are people to their chair.
Mere gulls are hush hush, hear hear.
Waves are trodden once a while.
Miles are covered yet not worthwhile.
Rush Rush within the concrete walls.
Appalled
I worship myself
For I can still recall
the beauty beyond the protocol.

Call me an oddball,
from within the cell wall.
For me the dance hall,
is beneath the pine tall.
I host the masked ball,
beneath the fireball
and is the nightfall
soothingly ethereal.

For I see moonlight.
You with your lamp bright.
Me with the gull screams,
you with your blue screen.
I smile like sun glow
while you are hunched low.
Hence with your downfall
I worship myself
for taking her call
and still having it all.
©srijaprasita

फेरी उनको याद आयो

आज बिहान पधेंरीमा फेरी उनको याद आयो ।
कलकल गर्ने मुहानको आवाज सँगै
उनका दन्तेलहर को स्मरण गर्दै गर्दा
तल्ला घरकी साहिली को खित्कामा
माथ्ला घरको हर्केको ठट्टामा
श्यामको स्पर्श सँगै, मुनाको लाज मा
गोरेटो, गल्ली र गाँउलेका माँझ मा
उनको अट्टाहसको कमी छायो
आज बिहान पधेंरीमा फेरी उनको याद आयो ।

आज साँझ मझेरीमा फेरी उनको याद आयो ।
त्यही पुरानो घरको भन्सा कोठामा
आगो फुक्दै गर्दा, धुँंवाले डम्म तुँवालो लाग्दा
पुरानो दराजको माथिल्लो खापामा
राखिएका काँसका थाल
र पित्तलका लोटामा जमेको धुलो ले
बर्षौं बितिसकेको आभाष ल्यायो
आज साँझ मझेरीमा फेरी उनको याद आयो ।

आज रात यो अँधेरीमा फेरी उनको याद आयो ।
दर दर बगिरहेका यी आँशुका धारामा,
गुटुमुटु कोल्टे फेरेको छोराको न्यनो सहारामा,
अनिधो यो सुस्केरामा, ससल्किने शुन्यतामा,
वैचेन मनको अदृश्य चाहनामा
र बेहाल जिवनको बेनामी बहानामा,
आज फेरी एकचोटि, एक्लोपन मौलायो ।
आज रात यो अँधेरीमा फेरी उनको याद आयो ।
©srijaprasita

A.world for me

Build me a world will you?
Or shall I build one myself?

A world without four walls or closed doors.
A world where you can open the window and set your soul free.
A world of flowers,  and yes the ones that are still blooming
shooting off the land to embrace the sun.
A world where,
even on a new moon day
the night sky is graced with glittery sight.
A world where,
unspoken thoughts do not need confirmation
and hope blooms like the sunflower,
never tired of the the running sun
and always ready to embrace the next day.

Build me a world will you?
Or should I build it myself?
A world where
"Fuck you bitches" and "son of a cunt" are distant
And "I love you" and "you are the best" is the new norm
echoing from all the nooks and corners.
A world where
embracing should not be raging fire
and affection would not give you blisters.
A world where
smile lights up the area
and even the specs of dust floating in the air dances with you.
A world where
words are itched,  not in papers, but in heart
and songs chime with the breeze.

Build me a world will you?
Or should I build it myself?
A world where
autumn comes
but not with naked trees but with the hope of resurrection.
Winter comes
not with chill but with snowy beauty instilled.
Summer comes
not with blazing heat
but with apple pies and pulpy mango treats.
And monsoon comes
not with stinking puddles
but with soothing drills that melts you to its beauty with a breath of fresh air.

Build me such a world will you?
But wait thinking it through ,
I should build it myself
©srijaprasita

Pfooo

Мой разум беспорядок
шутка, я не могу думать ни о чем,
в конце дня
посылая горе
все прошло
pfooo.

Я прилив
спрятаться, волны
пока что качается с луной.
как только наступит темнота
делает это далеко
как я ищу
звать тебя
кто в моем сердце

Он,
слабое существо в моей памяти
волнуйтесь, я много для него делаю
кажется, он этого не знает
грустно это заставляет меня чувствовать
лечить я не могу
пока он не здесь
навечно.
©srijaprasita

Tried some Russian poetry

My mind is mess
jest,  I can think of none,
on the day end
sending the woe
it's all gone
pfooo.

I am the tide
hide,  the waves
yet sways with the moon.
soon as the dark takes
makes it far away
way I search for
to call out to you
who is in my heart.

He,
the faint entity in my memory
worry,  I do a lot for him
seem he doesn't know that
sad it makes me feel
heal I cannot
until he is here
for eternity.

Shawar

Wrote this for a kid named Shawar Sigdel

Hey hold it.
Shit,  hold up boy.
God named you Shawar
Prolly like a downpour
Power it's not just you
You ain't the only one to want
Want it all,  sour the taste 'tis
haste chaste is nothin'
Sin is sinful,  yeah! Sin it is
Says the fall,  rising tall,  all then bow
To the devil,  heeled by mate-ria-listic views
And monster's there under us all
beneath the sheath of cheat and deceit
Covered by shiny "honesty" bullshit.

Yet,
God named you Shawar
Prolly like a downpour,
Who isn't sour,  cower is not his way
Ways there are to come forth
Sort it out, sort em all
Coz you are a diamond of fall
Lots of cuts,  hurts and "buts"
Or even the nuts of winterdust
Yet you are you,  truest form of guts
C'mon smack their butts,  cold cuts,  give em all
Coz
You deserve peace my child, you deserve it all.
You deserve the trust of discussed love
Fuck the mistrust, crush it if must
You're a wanderlust, fire of adjust.

So,
God named you Shawar
Prolly like a flower,  to empower
Our other wallflowers. Overpower
Sometimes the world may but you my boy
You won't cower
Ever as "never" is not the forever truth
And savour you would all the flavors of life.
So let it go, pain gain and the pseudo-name
Be you and let it go.