good night

Saturday, November 14, 2015

moody madness made memorable floric fun flirts around night nimbles nip by nip sleep sails sound n sweet
god graces goodnight dandelion dreams waves welcome

besmeared virtue

Chaste chalice, what I if not be?
A fair maiden, though a nymph to thee
how hast thou fared? and how I be
besmeared
virtue
beneath
unscathed
authority...
Though clandestine, seems it to me
thy world knows and bows to thee
wench drenched in the mystic rain
of scandal, tale thy world claims
verses of love, am I now?
Do tell if worldly I ought to be
Fallen feathers is all I see
besmeared
virtue
beneath
unscathed
authority......

Beware I am scary

oh this heavenly smell of
earth
....below the crust n just above
the core
....i am the
volcano
....embrace me n u r
DEAD

.......my arms might strangle u
and breath might scorch u

..I .am not a
torch

...I am a blazing fire
....
Beneath the space and above the
sky

.....I am the vacuum...
 Inhale me i will
take your life..... 

With a venom on my
spirit i seek u out
....
bloodthirsty me
bone-weary
 your battered soul that i
feed on.... 

Kneel down bow to
me....
Acknowledge your death...NOW

A woman with an attitude

Ask me and I'll strip for you
Pay me and I 'll dance nude
They call me prostitute
but I call myself a performer
an entertainer
I exchange pleasure
with those who seek me out
I feed their hunger
They might call me obtuse
But I call myself a woman with an attitude.
I can be a party thrower
I can be a show stopper
I might not know them as a whole person
but I know most of their secrets
that they share in the aftermath
of the pleasure I give them
They call me a whore, a mistress
But I call myself magical
who gives them the taste of immorality
and lock them in a trance of heaven
They might call me obtuse
But I call myself a woman with an attitude.
I am somebody's first fantasy
I am also somebody's forbidden dreams
I am definitely the first of many young men
who come lolling their tongues
for the first taste of forbidden vintage
I am a teacher
who help them.learn
the ancient language of love.
They might call me a sinner
But I call myself a lover, a giver
bestowing upon them
the means of satiation
They might call me filthy shit
But I am not ashamed of it.
They might call me obtuse
But I call myself a woman with an attitude.

Goodbye in whispers...

She opened the curtains, stared outside
the dark night and few scattering lights
beckoned her
her warm brown eyes looked stormy grey
the shine on it lost somewhere
yet moist irises could be seen
she had been shedding some silent tears
she looked at the starry sky
and remembered....yeah remembered....
She remember all those wistful dreams
she remembered all those wistful sighs
she remembered shared fantasies
she remembered those whispers, those smiles
by ten it had been his last call
once again she dialled his number
and stopped herself
she had promised, promise not to be weak
she had promised she wouldn't stall
and he is gone she knows
she knew it, her mind did
and her heart??...what of it???
Shivering in the cold she recalled
the warmth of his smile
the soothing caress of his voice
and how she had craved it
and dreamed of having it all.
She regretted not having hugged him once
but she had known
he had never been hers to hold
yet she remembered the feel of his hand
that gentle touch
that comforted her, took away the pain
at least she got to hold his hands
a memory enough to last long
a memory enough....
She plugged in the songs he sang to her
and closed her eyes, she savoured
his voice
and out of the blue she remembered
remembered the promise, promise she made
to him, to herself
songs deleted messages too
but what could she do
of those memories
of that face
which stayed as an imprint in her memory???
Broken down she crossed tge threshold
she tried getting lost in fog
she let the wind bite her skin
so that she wouldn't feel so much
yet numbness couldn't erase him.
Hours passed yet she stood outside
in the dark chilly night
hugging herself shedding tears
saying goodbye in whispers
hoping that the breeze
would carry it off to him
along with her feelings
and caress his warm skin
in his sleep
in his dreams..

:) :) :) SMILE :) :) :)

A very dear friend of mine wrote it...haha not for me but i so wish it had been for me..anyways i fell in love with this poem and so couldn't help from storing it in my journal.


When life pulls you down
Makes you beg for a moment of happiness
A moment of joy…until you get so tired
Remember you have a friend
who will give you a reason to smile…

When pain grips you, brings you down on your knees
Until you no longer can breathe
Remember you have a friend
who will give you a reason not to grieve.

When anger/ love clouds your judgement
Like it does to everyone including me
Remember you have a friend
who will help you see.

When you have done all that is needed to be done
Travelled places that you have always wanted to
Met people and mesmerised them like you did to me
And if you ever feel lonely
You don’t have to walk a mile
Remember you have a friend just a thought away
Spreading his arms wide

Waiting to greet you with a smile….. J J J J

Let me sleep

Night screams with me at the dawn break
And breaks into pieces those desires I have
Cause the light that comes with the morning
Brings with it the reality I am born with.

The dream become nuisance, the wishes seems futile
The chances of survival seems so deem
That I wonder what’s next now
Will I survive?? Will I die???
I am tired of anticipating the outcome
Tired of believing in myself
Tired of circle of needs and wants
And tired of defending myself
So just let me sleep now

Just let me sleep.

Come take me home

Momma !! let me rest again
Rest my head on your bosom
Momma let me brush off
All those tears you shed.
I know I have been bad
I could never be the daughter you wanted
I smoked, I drank, I kicked etiquette
I ignored you, I showed my attitude
But momma!! I’m trapped in dark
Inside this enchanted castle of immorality
I see the moon far away
And the windows are locked
Barred to me
I am caged in insanity
And I know you are the only one who can guide me to light.
Momma!! Give me your hand
Reach me out, once again find me..
I am lost….I am lost
I crave your love, I crave your touch…
Momma!! Do you hear me??
Do you hear my plea???
Your child is innocent no more
Your child is now a corrupted soul
Fallen, hurt by ineptitude
Bleeding, crying, calling out your name
Momma!! I know you are disappointed in me
I know I hurt you
But now I promise I will make it up to you
Just let this moment of insanity pass
Help me deal with it
Help me make you love me again…
If only….if only you knew how much I love you…..
I am still the child that you held
Carried nine months in your womb
Albeit rumpled and corrupted
Still you can find the traces of old me…
Momma!! Please momma!!
Let me rest in your bosom
Let me brush off the tears you shed
Let me once again rest my head
Let me hug you again
Hug me like you used to
Love me like you used to
Help me dream again..
Momma!!! Here I feel so numb
Momma!! Please come take me home.

will make it up to you

What I lack in beauty, I make it up with duty
What I lack in style, I make it up with smile.
I dont wear high stiletto heels
rather I developed my height of skills
I may not have that killer figure
yet my words will give you warmth and pleasure.
I may not be sexy and smart
but I assure you I have a good heart.
I may not be sizzling hot
but stone-cold?? No I'm not
Elegance I may not possess
but I do have my own taste
My plain-ness might not make your heart beat
But I can make for you desserts so sweet.
I might not ever create that mood
but come on just once taste my food
I may not be your usual bomb
but I can make your house a home.
What I lack in face I make it up with grace
What I lack in style, I make it up with smile.

Then came you

Never thought about karma
Never thought I wouldn’t achieve
Whatever I wish to be.
I broke few things, few hearts
But nothing I couldn’t fix or make
The weather had never been calm,
But nothing that I couldn’t take.
Then came you
As a lightening that strikes the soul
And ignite all the forbidden dreams
As a breeze before the storm
And left me with a tingling skin.
The rope slipped from my hand
And the kite flew away
Soaring high
Up above the sky
Leaving boundaries, weaving dreams
And here I am standing
Watching it fly
Towards you
Without any means to stop it.

I stood as a bystander
Of this course my heart took
And though there were many boundaries
I crossed them, stepped on them
And followed my heart
Which led me to you.
I know I shouldn’t wish
I know I shouldn’t reach out.
There are many things holding me back
Yet madness is where I’m out and about.
Even knowing it I can’t let you go
I am not ready yet
I need to hold you once
I need to rest my head
And feel your heart beat for me.
I need your smile, yeah I need to see
So before I leave, leave you for good
I need a moment to remember you by
So before I leave, leave you for good
Will you give me a final goodbye???

youuuur smile

Friday, November 6, 2015

Every time you smile
I leave a part of me with you
Your smile locks in me the joy
That comes forth as a smile
On my lips.
Throughout the vigorous beating of heart
And trembling limbs
I watch you silently through the door
Waiting for you to turn your head
And smile at me
That leaves me craving for more, even more.

I wish I could shout out loud
I wish I could acknowledge it
Carve you in my memory
And leave this game
Of hide and seek.

From a corner I watch you move
I wait and wait for a glimpse of you
Though I can’t hold, I can’t kiss you

When I don’t see you, I really miss you.

I don't dwell in fantasies

There’s a wall between us
A wall so strong
And no one can break it down
There’s a mile between us
And I can’t reach you
Or cross this distance
Even when you are
Just by my side.
You are the forbidden fruit
That I can’t taste
Yet I’m being induced
By the green serpent
But I’ll not bow down, I’ll not try
I’ll not dream of you and me
As it was never meant to be
And I don’t dwell in fantasies.

Why fall in the lake
When you know that the water runs deep
And you might drown??
Why enter into the storm
When you know the force is strong
And you are in it all alone??
All I’m allowed is sneak-peek
Discreet glances and smile
All I’m allowed are few moments
And savour it for a while..
So I’ll not bow down, I’ll not try
I’ll not dream of you and me
As it was never meant to be

And I don’t dwell in fantasies.

A dreamer?? Yes I am

The thunderclaps calls me in
Your trembling lips are inviting
The rain sparkles
Like a dew drop
On your luminous skin
And I wish I could be that rain
I won’t even mind falling
From the clouds
To reach you
And melt away.

The cold winter nights, so lonely
And I see you shivering
The fog moves about
Caressing your skin
And I wish I could be that quilt
I wont even mind rolling
With you on the bed
And share my heat.

Wondering is all I can do
Seeing that lovely rosy hue
I know I’m in love with spring
When the flowers bloom
And the treasure of juicy nectar
Calls out to all the bees in hive
I, a lonely drone,
Up all alone
Stare at you
Waiting and waiting……

Oh! Yes I dream, I dream all night
I dream of you, I dream of light
And in my dream yes I do love
Though here right now I can’t speak up
Can’t confess what I feel
Though I wish I could steal
You away from you
And make you mine
And create a tale so divine.

Call me a dreamer, call me a fool
I accept that I’m fool for you
So wherever this foolishness leads
I will follow
I won’t even mind
The thorns scattered
Or being torn and tattered.
I will crawl to you if I must

And die happily in your arms.