Fits and Starts

Monday, June 13, 2016



I live in order, within the line
Everything is good, but nothing’s fine.
The sun burns hot, yet I shiver inside
Within the fulfillment is a hollow hide.
The forward button drives me through
But a small pause gives a deadly blow.
At the end of the day when I close my eyes
Within my sighs I realize
I am acting it out as I am expected to
I am going through, but not growing through.

I have plenty of smiles thrown my way
I paste a smile and pass my day.
Throughout it all I agonize
of having to live within lies.
A shell of me is all you see
With vacant dreams buried within me.
At the end of the day, when I close my eyes
Within my sighs, I realize
I’ve miles to cross, a thousand lane
Though I’m running, it’s not the same.

As I climb down the staircase
Hundreds and thousands of faces awaits.
Hundreds of hands pat my back
“You’re doing well. Nothing you lack.”
But one that matters is left behind
stuck in heart but out of my mind.
Still
At the end of the day, when I close my eyes
Within my sighs, I realize
I’ve lived my life in a heartbeat.
Now I’m surviving not living it.

down the horizon

Thursday, May 19, 2016



The sun is down the horizon, but I am still chasing the idle wind.
It’s the time to wake up and run, but I am still sighing in my sleep.

Illusion of moments, I embraced them creating rift among my own dreams
I let all the questions drag me down and somewhere during the test I fell asleep.
You there, with your oil lamp came out for my aid.
But the storm was pretty sure you would bow down to his threat.

The point of time got lost somewhere during the period of it.
Days passed, weeks, months and years too and maybe few marks of decade.

On the lonely porch of my old home, I cast my eyes at the horizon
No lamp is seen burning; no echoes of footsteps can be heard.
Comes and goes all four seasons, no flowers are blooming, no sighs of breeze emerged.

Tattered bones, battered me, wait of the century
graying me, dimming eyes and rocking chairs to me.
The oldest tree is dead and gone and I am still digging deep.
It’s time to move on, yeah move on but I am still sighing in my sleep.
Dreaming of you.

Lonely nights

The lonely night whispers to me
I turn around in my bed
to find the side of it empty.
But still I can smell you on my pillow
and see your silhouette down the willow.
Now that I think
of the days we spent together
my heart grows heavy by the second.
I plug in the sad love songs
and fell as if they are just written for me.
I hear your voice, those words of love
that you used to sing to me.
And with a drink in my hand
I try to drain you
I try to drain your memories.

I walk on the lonely beach
jog off to the ground
those sand castles that we made together
is nowhere to be seen.
The breeze that plays with my hair
cannot replace the feel of your fingers.
Still I see you laughing at me
untying my hair
and running along the cliffs
to catch me off guard.
Smiling at your antics, I move forward
and when I look back
I realise you are gone
when I see a single pâir of footprints on sand.

Though you are so far away
I do have those memories you gave.
Now all I can do for you is
leave your favourite flowers
on the cold stone of your grave.

Absolute absurdity

Some issues somersaults and strangeness strangles
severe silence shouts singularly singing straightened songs of sincerity
faulty faith and favoured frequent friendless fawn fights for fantasy
fawning over fevered fraternity of fostering fetus and forlorn fictitious fandom

Murderer modernity

Moronic mind is mumbling mysteries and magical music is moderately modernised..
Mahogany maples are morphed too much
matching its make to merchandise of monotonous measurement..
Myself a memory of a moment mock this mysterious momentum of modernity
moving along mopped marbles beside the magical monasteries.

Love me again

Take me in your arms
let me be there
as long as you can hold.
My warmth will penetrate
the coldness inside your heart
and melt that ice of hatred.
I would like to slither away
into your heart
bite that venom off it
so that i would help it beat again
with warmth, with love this time.

Those stone walls
that you have raised around you
are too high for me to jump over.
Those daggers of blames
cut down through my senses
and i stumble time and again
with pain
so let me be there once again
in the cacoon of your arms
let me feel your heartbeat
which used to beat for me
let me help you see
that I am the same girl.whom you
loved.

The pain that I give you
half of that is mine too
I yell, I scream, I blame you
those faults, half of that are mine
too.
So hold my hands once again
palm to palm let it join
and feel
how your nerves tinges at my touch
how your heart beats when I smile
how you feel that stabbing pain
when a single tear escapes my eye.

I have seen you look at me
with stars in your eyes
and dreams of tomorrow.
And this hate that i see now
is just a show...just a show
a pretence
self defence
so dont let me or my curse kill you
darling take me in your arms
just let me heal you.

Farewell

I had something to say
Yeah! I too had something to say
Maybe few words about your optimism
Or spects of vivaciousness
So contagible
That even a rigid statue would dance in your tune
Maybe few words on your compassion
The charming mr. Perfectionist
With devilish humour and chronic impressions.

I had something to say
Yeah! I too had something to say.
Maybe few words about your thoughts
Or the traces of absent-mindedness
Which leads to 'boom' a new idea
A new lease to life, a new lens to see
And your very own iconic philosophy.
The saint of towered dignity
With codes of conduct that carries his identity.

I had something to say
Yeah! I too had something to say.
Maybe a few words about your empathy
Few weeks of friendship
Few days of understanding
Sarcastic remarks humorous quirks
Or the everlasting envy in me
Of your ability to see through everything in your own way
And how i hated it.

I had something to say
Yeah! I too had something to say
A lots of wishes
Maybe few curses too(after all i am human)
I had something to say to a friend as I bid adieu
But all i could do was listen
Be dumb, look numb
For all those words deserted me.

A stranger I know part two: Who are you actually?

Take down all your defenses, will you?
If not for a day then for few seconds
Tell me who knows you inside out,
give me a name
Why be synonymous to mystery??
Is it compulsion or strategy ???

Queries diverted...topics are changed
the re-engaged theories doesn't make sense
Why is it so hard to tell what you feel
they are your own, no-one will steal.

Stories I heard, few songs too
but none that relates particularly to you.
Yeah I know your smile, your punch lines you tease
But personally you are a passing breeze
unidentifiable...unrecognisable...an enigma of some sort
Are you a Shakespeare, a Nepolean, a Gandhi or some other hotshot.

Who are you actually??
What are your dreams???
Like every other human I know you have lots of them
but your cryptic explqnation of it are elusive just the same.
Like you, your time and the things you do
A projection, a facade that hides voodoo.

As normal as you seem with simple dreams
You are a wave of complex beams
though closer to each other we have been
I dont know what you hide within.
Behind that smiling face.
Beneath that innocent facade.