He

Once upon a time; there a lonely mind,
wandered overboard.
Overthinking much; clarifying such,
ended in discord.
He could do was fall; rather have it all,
fallacies whispered.
He could, but, then rise, following the wise
changing life; it's course.
He just remained though, within the locked doors.
He just thought of those, raging war indoors.
He could have, if tried, buzzed an amused spark.
He claimed himself as, born and bred in dark.

As the days went past; the glee didn't last.
He couldn't come clean.
Believing the tales, of fallen angels,
he was lost within.
Demons and devils, those he dabbled with;
fed on his essence.
Incoherent thoughts, jumbled up in knots,
begging turbulence.
He just remained though, within the caged walls.
He just thought of those failures and falls
He could have, if tried, leave a question mark.
He let himself be, synonym of dark.
©srijaprasita

Envy

I see the rage, crimson red
oozing out, seeping through
dripping off your eyes anew.

I see your fist, clenched as it
is to halt the running flow.
Low your eyes, yet deadly glow.

I see you breathe, short intakes
nose flaring, yet by the screen
behind the scream, you go all green.

I see all slashed, tattered tuxedo
placebo, to the one you owe.
The burn is still as is though.

I see the files scattered,
marred and charred thrown over.
You still feel like a pushover.

I see the knife sharpened though
so edgy like the mutilated picture
and the bottle of unopened elixir.

I see you take in long breath,
shred your thoughts, grab the knife.
Mumbling thoughts of afterlife.

I see the glint in your eyes
prize, the desire to takeover.
Have it all, no leftovers.

I see you peep through the door
floor, but same, yet it held more
name, more fame, more in store.

I see you though, silently tiptoe
Let go of conscience and fear
there, stand and shed a silent tear.

I see you look at the face
the same lines of furrow, the same
sigh of sleeping form, similar name.

I see you raise your hand high
sigh stopped from the sleeping form
like the calm before the storm.

I see the form jerk about.
Shout he couldn't as you staked
his heart, with all your hate.

Eyes wide with surprise, he stilled
Last breath left, with the pierced hilt
Bloodied quilt, blood spilt
and you with much much less guilt.

I see you then realise
eyes closed yet the tears ran
through the bloodied shirt of your best man.

I see you peep at yourself
on the mirror, attached to shelf
Welp you couldn't, you couldn't help.

I see the very image of you
Who laid dead on the floor
And you stood there
As silent as the moor.

Same home, same name, same face
I see even the same blood didn't sway
You and the envy had it's way.
©srijaprasita

Journey

I left behind the mountain of dreams
yet scaled through the steam of hope.
Then smoked hopes to ashes
and inhabited the submerged shore.

I sipped the sunset;fazing warmth
through my cup of blazing gloom.
I survived the crashing waves
fighting tides yet surfing through.

As the velvety cloak of night
wrapped me in his embrace.
I found myself contemplating
mist of memories and worth of morn.

And as I jumped through cliffs of dread
careful enough not to fall,
I found myself peeking about
the throne of thorns where I was born.

I fished in the pool of memories
To return empty hand of glee
I clocked in my instincts
and swam through canal of supremacy.

And when I finally reached the other end
I realised what I had always been.
Despite the calm demeanor
I had been raising a volcano within.

So I left behind my words of woe
buried under the freezing snow.
I killed my muse, my poem was dead.
I killed my muse and met myself.
©srijaprasita

Ode

Every breath I take
heck, I inhale the nature
for, sure, the fragrance
off flowers, misty magic of rainfall.
Take in petunia to roses so red,
dead orchids to damp mud haul,
tall pines to snowballs,
Enthralled
I worship myself
for I can do it all.

Everywhere I see
be it the white fluffs
and puffs dusted over the sky
high hilltop to mountain range
drenched streams to sea mews
hues of dusk to dawn of dews
and majestic allure of waterfall.
Enthralled
I worship myself
for I can feel it all.

The century of wire is here
there, the screen speaks loud and clear.
Bound are people to their chair.
Mere gulls are hush hush, hear hear.
Waves are trodden once a while.
Miles are covered yet not worthwhile.
Rush Rush within the concrete walls.
Appalled
I worship myself
For I can still recall
the beauty beyond the protocol.

Call me an oddball,
from within the cell wall.
For me the dance hall,
is beneath the pine tall.
I host the masked ball,
beneath the fireball
and is the nightfall
soothingly ethereal.

For I see moonlight.
You with your lamp bright.
Me with the gull screams,
you with your blue screen.
I smile like sun glow
while you are hunched low.
Hence with your downfall
I worship myself
for taking her call
and still having it all.
©srijaprasita

फेरी उनको याद आयो

आज बिहान पधेंरीमा फेरी उनको याद आयो ।
कलकल गर्ने मुहानको आवाज सँगै
उनका दन्तेलहर को स्मरण गर्दै गर्दा
तल्ला घरकी साहिली को खित्कामा
माथ्ला घरको हर्केको ठट्टामा
श्यामको स्पर्श सँगै, मुनाको लाज मा
गोरेटो, गल्ली र गाँउलेका माँझ मा
उनको अट्टाहसको कमी छायो
आज बिहान पधेंरीमा फेरी उनको याद आयो ।

आज साँझ मझेरीमा फेरी उनको याद आयो ।
त्यही पुरानो घरको भन्सा कोठामा
आगो फुक्दै गर्दा, धुँंवाले डम्म तुँवालो लाग्दा
पुरानो दराजको माथिल्लो खापामा
राखिएका काँसका थाल
र पित्तलका लोटामा जमेको धुलो ले
बर्षौं बितिसकेको आभाष ल्यायो
आज साँझ मझेरीमा फेरी उनको याद आयो ।

आज रात यो अँधेरीमा फेरी उनको याद आयो ।
दर दर बगिरहेका यी आँशुका धारामा,
गुटुमुटु कोल्टे फेरेको छोराको न्यनो सहारामा,
अनिधो यो सुस्केरामा, ससल्किने शुन्यतामा,
वैचेन मनको अदृश्य चाहनामा
र बेहाल जिवनको बेनामी बहानामा,
आज फेरी एकचोटि, एक्लोपन मौलायो ।
आज रात यो अँधेरीमा फेरी उनको याद आयो ।
©srijaprasita

A.world for me

Build me a world will you?
Or shall I build one myself?

A world without four walls or closed doors.
A world where you can open the window and set your soul free.
A world of flowers,  and yes the ones that are still blooming
shooting off the land to embrace the sun.
A world where,
even on a new moon day
the night sky is graced with glittery sight.
A world where,
unspoken thoughts do not need confirmation
and hope blooms like the sunflower,
never tired of the the running sun
and always ready to embrace the next day.

Build me a world will you?
Or should I build it myself?
A world where
"Fuck you bitches" and "son of a cunt" are distant
And "I love you" and "you are the best" is the new norm
echoing from all the nooks and corners.
A world where
embracing should not be raging fire
and affection would not give you blisters.
A world where
smile lights up the area
and even the specs of dust floating in the air dances with you.
A world where
words are itched,  not in papers, but in heart
and songs chime with the breeze.

Build me a world will you?
Or should I build it myself?
A world where
autumn comes
but not with naked trees but with the hope of resurrection.
Winter comes
not with chill but with snowy beauty instilled.
Summer comes
not with blazing heat
but with apple pies and pulpy mango treats.
And monsoon comes
not with stinking puddles
but with soothing drills that melts you to its beauty with a breath of fresh air.

Build me such a world will you?
But wait thinking it through ,
I should build it myself
©srijaprasita

Pfooo

Мой разум беспорядок
шутка, я не могу думать ни о чем,
в конце дня
посылая горе
все прошло
pfooo.

Я прилив
спрятаться, волны
пока что качается с луной.
как только наступит темнота
делает это далеко
как я ищу
звать тебя
кто в моем сердце

Он,
слабое существо в моей памяти
волнуйтесь, я много для него делаю
кажется, он этого не знает
грустно это заставляет меня чувствовать
лечить я не могу
пока он не здесь
навечно.
©srijaprasita

Tried some Russian poetry

My mind is mess
jest,  I can think of none,
on the day end
sending the woe
it's all gone
pfooo.

I am the tide
hide,  the waves
yet sways with the moon.
soon as the dark takes
makes it far away
way I search for
to call out to you
who is in my heart.

He,
the faint entity in my memory
worry,  I do a lot for him
seem he doesn't know that
sad it makes me feel
heal I cannot
until he is here
for eternity.

Shawar

Wrote this for a kid named Shawar Sigdel

Hey hold it.
Shit,  hold up boy.
God named you Shawar
Prolly like a downpour
Power it's not just you
You ain't the only one to want
Want it all,  sour the taste 'tis
haste chaste is nothin'
Sin is sinful,  yeah! Sin it is
Says the fall,  rising tall,  all then bow
To the devil,  heeled by mate-ria-listic views
And monster's there under us all
beneath the sheath of cheat and deceit
Covered by shiny "honesty" bullshit.

Yet,
God named you Shawar
Prolly like a downpour,
Who isn't sour,  cower is not his way
Ways there are to come forth
Sort it out, sort em all
Coz you are a diamond of fall
Lots of cuts,  hurts and "buts"
Or even the nuts of winterdust
Yet you are you,  truest form of guts
C'mon smack their butts,  cold cuts,  give em all
Coz
You deserve peace my child, you deserve it all.
You deserve the trust of discussed love
Fuck the mistrust, crush it if must
You're a wanderlust, fire of adjust.

So,
God named you Shawar
Prolly like a flower,  to empower
Our other wallflowers. Overpower
Sometimes the world may but you my boy
You won't cower
Ever as "never" is not the forever truth
And savour you would all the flavors of life.
So let it go, pain gain and the pseudo-name
Be you and let it go.

Thoughts of mine

Oh silenced thoughts of mine
zig zag in its own ways
sways within the four walls
then coops up at a corner with
blinders closed, as the night falls
burned by the dreams.

Oh silenced thoughts of mine
that weaves the dream of romance
every chance it gets,  submerged
in consciousness,  yet hesitates
finally in a poem, to emerge
and not speech.

Oh silenced thoughts of mine
standing at a distance
persistent in periphery.
Would you rather not stay hush
beat around the bush,  very
unlike what I want?

Oh silenced thoughts of mine
would you rather cross the road?
abode is what you need,
to heed the stringed beads of dreams.
Off, you get off my head,  lead
the way out. Will you?

Oh silenced thoughts of mine
would you shout out loud
proud, someday,  but surely
polishing away the dust gathered
around your guts, blurry
vision kept aside?

Oh silenced thoughts of mine
it's another day,  nightmare has passed.
Doors has opened.
So has feelings it seems
You aren't caged. You aren't sore.
Would you not remain silent anymore?
©srijaprasita

On my way

I met a man,  an enigma, a puzzle
drizzle of rain, and somehow
now,  warm at the same time.
Paradox, in the truest sense.
Whence, he is not
but like the vast stretch of road.
Deserted,  multiple times trodden upon
yet left alone,  at night.
Despite, like the road,  he is the steady presence.
Always there somehow directional.
Emotional outbursts to obnoxious silence,
hence,  down throughout life,  he has seen it all.
Tall,  like the tree, he stands
lands his thoughts, branching out.
Shout the contemplation to the air,
fair and square to the velvety night
and right underneath the stars.
Harsh,  is the reality, stories untold
hold within the cacophony of dreams
seems like century old scars.
Bars,  I saw surrounding him.
Dim spark and strong walls.
Enthralls me,  drags me forward
Towards him.
Seemed he had some barriers
Worse than the worse warriors.
Yet "No Trespass" sign
reclined, didn't deter me.
So I am on my way
Sway me if you can.
©srijaprasita

Armourless

Armourless his body,, his heart is exposed,  vulnerable
to the spears of contempt and shame.
He often finds himself contemplating
but his contemplation doesn't have a name.
He burns like a bush fire
slithely engulfing and all encompassing.
He rages
with a whoooshh
he blazes
within.
Yet the outer sheath is lethargic
weighed down
slumped
dragged through
and time weary.
Very image
of the leaden shenanigans.
inspite of it all
he tries
"he tries" to have a brave front
for all the perceptive vultures seeking morsels.
He had been saving his face.
That's all he had been doing.

Baby Steps

You,  my darling let the dark engulf you in.
Freezing flurry fog is what you entice
with your presumptions of dreary tomorrow.
You have let slip the feel of warmth
and cannot recall it even if I were to bare myself now,
All you sing is the songs of sorrow.
You stand on a fort with groggy eyes and chilled smile
You are the author of impenetrable principles.
You live within your make-believe world
with idiosyncrasies quite invincible.
But someday,  if someday you were to realise your needs
and repercussions of your unruly deeds
Try and remove the shields one by one
beginning from the tower.
As the walls crumble down,
before you head towards the sunlight
Come meet me
And just before you conquer
take some baby steps in the dimly lit room.

Through the window

You feel like home with the subtle nudging
under the stars
until the crisp morning finally peeps through.
Unbeknownst to the tingling thoughts,
the slumber seeps through.

Nascent notion that blooms within the pillow
talks
leaks its way into the succinct beats
Radiating springs and cherry blossoms
along the coasts of subsumed dreams.
Equally brutal is the notion of stagnancy,
and outrage for contentment
Or the stark realisation
of emotion ruled under convenience.
Free of burden, my weary conscience,
staggers and weeps through
Unbeknownst to the tingling thoughts,
the slumber seeps through.

Eloquently eerie misgivings swishing through the night
flaunts away the velvety waves
The croaks of raven fills the air
Clashing with their cuckoo knaves
Equally persistent is the faint breeze
that rustles through the leaves
Leaving behind the contentment
and dreamy contemporaries.
The fire of zeal is then rekindled
healing harmony heaps through
Unbeknownst to the tingling thoughts,
the slumber seeps through.

When I am here, on the purple night,  stitching my scars
I know darling you are there wishing upon the stars
A lulling voice of your wishes,
as it finally kicks through
Unbeknownst to the tingling thoughts
the slumber seeps through
The window.
©srijaprasita

There's a message find it

Insidious irksome felony,  that's what he is
Alluring yet arch-enemy of
mine, Should I mourn
nocturnal jests when it's lost
or should ultimately just
tear it down somehow
memories that would haunt me
unconditionally while he is ecstatic,
scintillated with other insidious
harmony. Gets
                           Hypnotised.

Star crossed lovers

He was the epitome of raging inferno
for an untrained eyes at least.
A beautifully scripted Gothic tale with demons and dragons and all the mighty beasts.
A monster ruling his lair with his idiosyncrasies
deliberately enforced to offset a candour.
He had some chinks in his armour
glossed over by a tainted sheath.
He was an eyesore,  but worth saving.

She was the epitome of tribulations under control
A refuge to emotionally destitutes.
She was the bundle of oblivion
who embraced the thrill as it came along.
Armed with conscience and age old wisdom
yet venerably gullible at the same time.
For her darkness was the blend of colours
and light a canvas to draw upon.
She transcends at embracing.

She wasn't a helpless damsel in distress
He was no knight in shining armour.
Everything he failed at, she excelled.
Everything she was not,  he impaled.
Their paths crossed on a day of doom.
He with his felines and aesthetics.
She with her love for acrostics.
He with his out of proportion semblance.
She with her noteworthy temperance.
Both intimidating in their own way
and an eerie mutual resemblance.

They spent their nights under the stars
together at two dimensions.
He was perfectly fine with chaos
and she with the numbing silences.
Prolific progress pointed towards poignant promises.
And everything remained standstill
when she closed her eyes in defeat
and his remained stark awake.
©srijaprasita

Parallels

It could have been the spring
and the thawing snow
which has splashed some colors over the blank canvas.
It could even be the illuminated joy that,
with a painting brush,
has sprinkled the magic of burgundy evenings.
Or,
Is it just you who had knocked on the door
oblivious to the unwelcoming storm
to drizzle over the vast stretch of barren land.
And,
As I see few specs of green
under the blue blue sky
Me, a solitary cliff by the sea
can just speculate when this would pass by.
I am in love with the waves
who takes away a part of me everytime we meet.
You are the lake with your own story of stagnancy.
Don't make me fall for you
You are not the rivulet that reaches the sea
And I am not the depth that you need.
©srijaprasita

To whom it may concern

In his smile I see subdued thoughts and dimensions of depth
Yet the perpetual presence of haunting reality has not adulterated his soul.
He resurrects in recognition, treading along the scintillating coasts.
Yet he tries to avoid the crashing waves and seek behind the cliffs albeit still basking in sunlight.
He waves flowers and dreams, wrap it around moonbeams and strike at your heart.
Yet it comes from a distance. He would rather stay across the bridge than cross it over to you.
He is the bird that flies above the sea,  peering, observing yet not daring to come close.
He is as paradoxical as a free spirit bound to a standstill.
Yet he is the elixir that heals.
He is not made for the dark.
©srijaprasita

Warriors

Do you know what is beautiful?
Despite the chain-marks and the numbness on the limbs,  the ability to smell the fresh air and smile standing at the sun-kissed meadow, raising the arms up towards the sky and relishing the sense of liberation.
Do you know what is serene?
Despite the constant bickering and nagging dogmas, the ability to take them all,  void of all the stereotypes and perceive the real picture and embrace the true meaning,  which wouldn't require any sorts of confirmation.
Do you know what is blindingly stunning?
Despite the dark path one has to navigate through, the ability to find the right way and not get lost midway,  eventually reach the light and join others to embark upon a joyous journey of serendipity and emancipation.
We all are broken ones,  we don't have to be broken souls.
We don't have to remain scattered for others to pick us up,  we shouldn't need a chaperone.
Despite being withered down,  we don't have to be forlorn
And despite the tell-tale scars,  we all are beautiful on our own.
©srijaprasita May 1 2020

Zemblanity

On a casual stroll over the neighborhood
I came across a child who was shedding some loud tears over a broken toy.  She looked over with bleak eyes, pointed towards her doll and said that her beloved child had left her and she feels so alone. I stared at her blankly and replied : child there would come a day when people will leave you one by one and most of the situation would be inevitable. Some would quote your narcissistic approach while some would simply get bored to tears.  Some would play it along for pleasure for a limited period of time while some would haunt you around even when you wouldn't want them to. You would be freezed some days under the ice cold lake that would look so serene outside.  The frozen heart,  even thawed would remain as blue as ever. Some days you would have to bear the blistering heat without passing breeze by your side.  You would have thousands of thoughts but not a single productive one and the nudging hands would be missing some days. Some days amidst the laughter you would see the gleamless eyes and amidst the tears some cynic smiles. There would come a day child you would realise that this bleakness was for nothing as   this would be your daily life.
I saw I was able to stop her tears but she was looking at me as if I were some kind of monster that was passing by.
©srijaprasita March 1 2020

स्मरण भन्दा केही पर

बेरंगी जीवनको बैजनी ढंग लाई
अन्तरालमा नियालेर हेर्दा
झ्याप्प निभेको बत्ती जसरी,
अन्धकारमा लिप्त भएझैं
केवल एक मुठी सास ले अल्झिएको सपना!
पुराना कुनै किताब का पाना मा
सुकेका गुलाब का पंखुरी जस्तै दबिएका छन्
स्मरण भन्दा केही पर

अट्टहास सँगै छचल्किएका
सुन्यताका आवाजहरू,
एउटा बन्द कोठामा, पुराना गीत सँगै
कैले आँशु बानी बर्सिन्छन
त कहिले
हरफहरु मा शृङ्गारिन्छन्
कालो एउटा डायरी को कुनै कुनामा
स्मरण भन्दा केही पर

बादल को गर्जन सँगै वर्षात को पर्खाइ जस्तै,
तिम्रो स्पर्श को पर्खाइ मा
सम्झना का हर एक गल्ली गल्ली
भौतारिंदै हिँडदै छु म
तर
तिम्रो लागि सायद म केवल
सिमलको रुखमुनी को
पहिलो चुम्मन हूँ
स्मरण भन्दा केही पर

शायद ।

शायद,
संघर्षहीन परिस्थिती र कल्पित दिशा भएको भए,
आफ्ना अन्तष्करणमा उम्लिएका भावलाई
नजलाई,
तिम्रा कदमसँङ्गै आफ्ना कदम
हरदम मिलाउने थिएँ,
शायद ।

शायद,
तिम्रो अन्तर्मनमा सधैँ झुण्डिएको ताल्चाको
चाबी बनि
मुस्कानको फोहरा र छचल्किएको आँसु बनी
तिमीमा नै हराउने थिएँ ।
हर एक सन्ध्या Take me to your heart सँङ्गै
दुई फन्का लगाउने थिएँ ।
बिछौनामा कोल्टे फेरी, तिम्रै धुनमा रमाउने थिएँ ।
निमेषमा सूर्य लुप्त हुँदा, तिमीलाई झकझकाउने थिएँ ।
शायद

शायद,
कल्पनामा हुन्थ्यो भने
तिमी खिलखिलाउने थियौ ।
बेमौसमको वर्षात जस्तै
तिमी गड्गडाउने थियौ ।
नदिको वेगझैं,
तिमी चलमलाउने थियौ ।
शायद ।

शायद
तिमीतिर मैले आफ्नो पाइला सारेको भए,
मन मष्तिष्कको विवाद छोडी
मैले मुटु हारेकी भए,
आलाप विहिन केहि समय, तिमीसङ्गै विताउने थिएँ ।
तिलमिलाएका तारा
र रेशमी रातको छानामुनि
गुटुमुटु तिम्रै अँगालोमा
सुस्केरा हाली निदाउने थिएँ
शायद । 

Lilacs