SINISTER

Sabotage saccharine salvation
Insist illegitimate ignition
Normalize nasty negotiation
Idolize immoral inscription
Safeguard sadistic sanctions
Traumatize travelers to
trepidation
Escape eloquent emasculation
Revive repressed retribution

SINISTER.......I pay no heed
I thrive in sin, deadly deed
Ya i am a sinister indeed....

म के गर्दिन ?

ओठमा लाली लगाइ
मुस्कान को जाल हान्छु
कर्के आँखा को हेराइ ले
छक्याउछु, झुक्याउछु
सुमधूर संगीत सगै
काम को बाण हान्छु
तिमीलाई लोव्याउछु
सपना देखाउछु
तिमीलाई भुलाउछु, तर आफुलाई जोगाउछु
भुमरी मा पर्दिन
म के गर्दिन ?

वास्तबिक्ता को पर्दा लगाइ
बेहोसीनै तुल्याउछु
फकाउछु, कुराउछु
तिमीलाई सिध्याउछु
खल्ती पनि रित्याउछु
तिमी आउछौ, म लुक्छु
पछी पछी लगाउछु
गल्लीको कुकुरझै तिमी
रियाल काढी पुछर हल्लाउछौ
म हेर्छु, म हास्छु
एक टुक्रा दान दियी
मेरै पछी दौडाउछु
तिम्रो अस्तित्व लियी
खुड्किला चडछु
अह तल झर्दिन
म के गर्दिन ?

वास्नाको जन्जिरले बेरिएको
एउटा पुत्ला हौ तिमी
जती तर्कु, जती झर्कु
लुरु लुरु आउछौ
ढोका मा ढुक्छौ
मेरै गूण गाउछौ
मुर्ख हौ तिमी...पटमुर्ख
कती स्वाभिमान रित्याउछौ?
तर
जती तिमी रितिन्छौ
तेती म भर्पूर हुन्छु
तिमीलाई खोक्रो पार्छु
अनी वास अन्तै सार्छु
मुहान सुकेपछी खडेरी मा
फर्केर नि हेर्दिन
म के गर्दिन ?

माया मा पर्दिन, ममता छर्दिन
तर माया गर्छु
जब सम्म आट छ
कसैसँग गाठ छ
तेही बाटो रोज्छु
एउटालाई खोज्छु
भुमरीमा पार्छु
अनी जाल हाल्छु
हो म मान्छु, म गलत छु
तर के अरु स ही छन?
अह! म पछी सर्दिन
म के गर्दिन ?
म के गर्दिन ?

यो कस्तो सम्बन्ध?

पाइला पाइलामा आँशुले सेचिएको
झुठ र अहन्कारले नाटक नै रचिएको
प्रश्नचिन्हित एउटा व्यङ्यात्मक निबन्ध
यो कस्तो सम्बन्ध?

माया पनि सोचेर लगाएझैँ
खडेरीको भेलले बगाएझैँ
अस्मिताको विचित्र द्वन्द
यो कस्तो सम्बन्ध?

नैरश्यको नमुना बनाएझैँ
अत्तर मुनी अस्तित्व गनाएझैँ
शिष्टाचार निर्हित छन्द
यो कस्तो सम्बन्ध?

दुई बिन्दू जोडेर हेरेँ
फेरी त्यसलाई तोडेर हेरेँ
वास्तविक्तालाई गरेर बन्द
यो कस्तो सम्बन्ध?

प्रकृतिको छ बेग्लै सुगन्ध
पुरुषलाई लोभ्याउने छ प्रबन्ध
तैपनी मिलन किन यस्तो मन्द
यो कस्तो सम्बन्ध?
खै यो कस्तो सम्बन्ध?

Broken string

The keyboard gave me a cue
and the drum started beating
but i kept staring at my broken
string
The soothing pianoforte rocked
my hungry soul
and the unruly beat of drum was
what i was waiting for
But when i tried my own
symphony
i failed to come up with a melody
my hands lay limp, my fingers
failed me
The music inside me screamed
for an outlet
i cried in agony, with the pain in
my nerves
Oh! have mercy.......I begged, I
sobbed
I searched my soul knocked out
my dreams
yet nothing came out of it
de-da-da-dum-da-da-dum-ding
the drum started beating
yet i kept staring at my broken
string

Like a dog in the backyard i rolled
i barked
i wagged my tail at familiar faces
i grabbed at the bits and pieces
thrown at me
and gobbled down the remains
without mercy
But when i was asked or urged to
howl
to show them how loud i could be
i just gave them a bleak look
even the thorn in my paw
couldn't help me
something was lost,broken inside
i could hear no sound...................
Yet I stood there and lied.....
"I can do it. Of course I can
just wait I'll show you", I cried
I waited and waited for my
conscience to scream
The keyboard gave me a cue
and the drum started beating
But like a dumbstruck silhouette
I kept staring at my broken
string.......

Mirrors

oh gee
look at me
tell me
what you see
a nerdy nerd, a willow bird
scarred, marred nilly drunkard
I have had
had it all
a bout and a heavy clout
a time
to shout and run about
its a past bob
now i am a cast off
with a gout and rocking cough
i am a willy
a nilly
a brandmarked silly
my unruly curl
now a cap of snowfall
a lopsided grin
wrinkled skin
i remember i recall
how I've been
i stare at it
at my image
a sage
could have been at this age
yet
i am me
albeit rumpled
crumbled
stumbled
thoroughly tumbled
i look at him
oh! so prim
he looks at me
with look so grim
in between
is a silver screen
past i recall
present i stall
i fall i crawl
between then and now
WOW
like a bouncing ball
oh mirrors........mirrors on the
wall

The silence stretch out a long
way
and all i can do is reminisce
the future remains unpredictable
and the past is all i can talk about
present is lost in the shadow of
past
and misty future is tagging along
it
i keep swinging between then
and now
seeking pleasure in the changes
the gleam of mischief is lost
somewhere
and lacklusture beads
acknowledge me
i run my fingers at the plain
screen
the image appraise me with a
mocking grin
oh mirrors..........mirrors on the
wall

oh look
look at me
tell me
what you see
a spook, a dried up brook
a severe crook, a wounded rook
i have had
had it all
a thirst to quench
and a comely wench
a heartfelt brunch
a lovely punch
its a past bob
now i am a cast off
i am a hollow bin
a rusty tin
sledge
with rocking edge
yet
i can see
the child in me
what i used to be
beneath
this wrinkled sheath
lies a myth
of all that shit
cheat
and bruising beat
that i insist
to remember
for
my past is cool
future
is death
that i wish to embrace
with grace
no trace
will be left of mine
and time
goes on and on
for someone
I'll be gone
i run my fingers at the plain
screen
the image regard me with a
mocking grin
oh mirrors...........mirrors on the wall.

Define friendship

friendship
seems like a delusion
an exasperating illusion
a mere diffusion
of common grounds and season
integrated reasons
articulated traditions
a mere mission
of integrations.

Aashraya

असीमित असम्भाव्यता
अनुचित आत्मियता
अनिश्चित अस्मीता र
अनगिन्ति असमानता
देखि अनभिग्य छु म ।

आक्रोशित अलङ्कार
अशुनिश्चित आधार
आलोचित आकार र
अनियमित अन्धकार
देखि आचीत छु म ।

आओ असङ्ख्य आसहरु
तिमीमा नै आस्रित छु म

Damn its insane

Dramatised dream dwindled down
Aspirations act abhorrant
Makeshift memory mocked me
Nostalgia nag negligence

Inspirations irked insolence
Turners trade testimony
Sympathy sounds symphonic

Illegal is iliterate innocence
Naive nuzzles numbness
Sellers save sellable
Achiever adore abscess
Naked nymph not noticable
Expired elixir eases

DAMN ITS INSANE

Withering essence

The light bares its claws at
me,the wind howls nd the storm
knocks me down
That induces me to stay within
the confinement of my dark
sheath.
Why does the light scare me? I
asked myself
Is it because I would see things
clearly?
Or is it because I have been
confined within the clutches of
this velvety darkness for so long.
I stare at the moon through the
peephole while I hide myself in
the shadows.
Moon is supposed to be
soothing but it still scares me
And they say I would be able to
embrace the sun.
WHAT A JOKE

My soul is decayed and my mind
rotten
I have become a living compost
Earthworms roam around my
nerves and r eating through my
cells.
Even if I try, I cant break free
Come on,how can I
THE LIGHT SCARES ME
If only I was unconscious,if only I
was unaware of the fact that i'm
withering away
So many 'if onlys'....
Wel I would have quite enjoyed
these periodic lapses,i would
have enjoyed breaking down and
fooling around.
But I was dragged down to this
emptiness long before I could
feel the light,see it shine through
my youth...
Now all thats left is my dark
heart and wretched soul.
They say "everything will be fine
just wait"
I dnt need false hope as I know
The only thing I lack is time.
I will just wither away
Today? Tomorrow? I'm not sure
It can be any day

A struggler

I take a pen
A paper in my hand
Scratch my head
...'ah! I got it'
Write a topic
And then
.....blank...
I search books
I search all groups
Search those sites
Expression an 'O'
My eyes wide
I
....blink
......stare
.........blink
Their words haunts me
And ability taunts me
Mock me
''he he he a struggler''
My shoulders slumps down
Laptop closed
Paper torn
I admit defeat
....yet again i've pen n paper
.....history repeats
........i know i'm a struggler

DEAD

Debilitate your desire
Delude yourself from the fact
Demand defragmentation
Or
Drag me from my time
Do everything you can.....
I'm not going to rise

Elevate your eminence
Encapsulate your endeavour
Enchant with your eloquence
Or
Embalm with elixir
Embrace everything you can....
I am not going to revive

Abate my wound
Abduct my soul
Accelerate your own age
Or
Adjourn your own world
Adjust everything you can....
I'm not going to react

Distance yourself
Dry up your emotion
Dagger yourself
Or
Decompose in dejection
Defy everything you can
I'm not going to be alive

DEAD I'm DEAD
I am not going to live
So dry up your tears
And just leave,'just live'.

Her name

Her cherry lips and wide smile
and betraying mask of decorum
Her daintiness a tequila
and the freckles of narcissism
Her creamy skin a framage frais
She's a mannequin who lure and play
I look at her
She throws a smile
I wink at her
and she acts so shy
That blush is just a masquerade
To catch me unaware and devour
But now I'll change rules for her
There's no escape,no turning back
A falcon will now fall a prey

I pulled her in,she came undone
We dabbled together in exhilaration
I turned her on,she abandoned
We lost ourselves to sensation
We manoeuvred the sensous sin
Hell broke loose and dam burst within
I knew I lost
She knew it too
She caged me on
Now what to do?
Her breathing was a lullaby
I fell asleep with a sigh
I woke up with a loneliness
She was gone....she was gone
She turned the tables on my game
I realised with an emptiness
Damn...
I didnt even know her name

For me

I am burning here
and you r standing aloof as if
you dont care enough
I am swallowing pain
and my stretched hands seeks ur
presence
My visions are blurred n limbs r
numb
the last wishper of my
consciousness is ur name.
Yet you r an audience
a distant observer,a silent one.
Hey stranger close 2 my
heart,just fulfil my last wish...
when the tiny thread of life
breaks down
and essence of me is lost in the
mist of time
Just shed a tear 4 me,just one
at least you'd give me a warm
goodbye.

I wanna be a celebrity

Name....
And a thirst for fame
Damn....
Thats so lame
Yet came....
This desire to tame
Minds of thousands of people
With words....
And grab their cords
A tool....
To grab and pull
And rise....
To the height
And shine new and bright
Ya I wanna be...
A celebrity

"Truce
I ain't gonna loose
Booze
I ain't gonna choose"
Yeah! Thats fantasy
Free....
I ain't gonna be
And loose every essence of me
Idol....
I'd become a doll
Brawl
Will lead downfall
Its a road without lane
Damn...its insane
Yet I wanna be....
A celebrity

Act....
Just fuck the fact
Tact....
Is "show off to distract"
Role....
Just play it cool
Rule....
And make them fool
Unity???
What the hell is dignity??
No place whatsoever for novelty
Delve
On I me myself
Damn....its cruel
But fame's the pull
Ah! I wanna be....
A celebrity.

Let me be

Let the curtains remain close
Let the world outside remain a bad dream
I've had enough of compassion
Now Let this urge 4 revenge break free

I dnt want all too cheerful sun to brighten my vindictive soul
These dark hooded eyes just welcomes a black hole
Scratching the wound and spicing it up
And reaping and sowing these seeds of disgust
I'll dig my own tunnel into this obscure world
And wont let those absurdity get to me at all
Dont need love,dont need light dont need those fucked up morality.
Let me remain a beast of vengenance on a ride of anonymity

Let this revenge get hold of me Let me be a beast,let me be