A struggler

I take a pen
A paper in my hand
Scratch my head
...'ah! I got it'
Write a topic
And then
.....blank...
I search books
I search all groups
Search those sites
Expression an 'O'
My eyes wide
I
....blink
......stare
.........blink
Their words haunts me
And ability taunts me
Mock me
''he he he a struggler''
My shoulders slumps down
Laptop closed
Paper torn
I admit defeat
....yet again i've pen n paper
.....history repeats
........i know i'm a struggler