Resigned

In tableau of relationships
I keep searching myself
And all i find is insignificant dots 
out if my vicinity 
And within the pagan firewall
I'm all alone

The quaint thread of belongingness
that scarlet liquid which flows in me
Does that really matter to have a bond?

What of breezes that whispers to me?
What of heart that beats?
What of the succinct memories?
What of the burgundy evenings?
Those moments when I think of you
and that fragile thread if my hold on you?

Maybe I'm a bit selfish
Maybe I'm just tired of this
Maybe you want some more
Maybe that’s what you abhor
of me not trying and constantly lying.

Yeah....
You can’t be the one I want
I can’t be the one you need
And this hold in itself is a treachery 
Yet...
You are one hell of a man
The one I tried hard to understand