Dilemmas

Unsteady mindset,  feeble dreams
It's not a morose story that I am writing about
it's just a real picture of affection in denial.
It's the story of insecurities and morphed aspirations.
It's the real face of emotions.
Throughout the bumpy ride I had walked unscathed
Fell down numerous times yet still intact.
I had left no stones unturned, my decisions thorough and pensive
Yet the junction that I am standing right now has left me indecisive.
I had laid down my baggages way back
Yet the feeling of burden remains
And my feet grows heavy by the seconds.
I see a light at the other end, across the bridge
Shining brighter than I have ever seen.
Yet the "what ifs" hold me back,
The pull stronger than it has ever been.
What if the light isn't from the source?
What if it's just a mere reflection?
What if it is just a mirage?
What if the brighter rays gave me a sunburn?
Despite the speculation and benumbed dilemmas
I have to make a choice.
It would either be the best decision of my life
Or yet another sacrifice.
A story of unhinged adoration that is yet to immerse
Which  could change my life in an instant for better or for worse.
Everything relies upon my resolution
That relies further upon the speculation
Of my heart.
As I am writing this I have a smirk on my lips
I don't know whether I am mocking myself
or the emotions that just changed my dreams.