have I lost the reason to smile??

I look at the smiling faces of people

All around me is jokes and joy

And with them, here I am all alone

Trying to hold onto the fragments

Of their conversation

And then I realise

I can’t hold onto the joy

Have I lost the reason to smile????

There are so many stories here

Every eye speaks of something within

Every faces have their own worry lines

Still there is smile

Still there is a reason to hold

Yet here all alone

Like a lonely soul

I try reading them; try being a part of them

Searching belongingness; somewhere out of nothingness.

But then I didn’t know

That the emptiness within me is so acute

That I can’t be where I am

And can’t feel anything within.

Have I lost the reason to feel???

Have I lost the reason to fly??

Have I lost the reason to smile??

Even mundane talks has so much fun

That’s what everybody says

Try simplifying all the matters

And then you will see

Everything there is to see

I have heard it repeatedly

I have tried embracing it.

Tried to run, stumbled down

Back on my feet, I tried again.

Moving out of my comfort zone

I tried breaking free

And look at me now!!!!

You can see just the shell of me

Even those freedoms of few moments

Have become burdens so difficult to carry

And so hard to hold on

And here I am walking alone

Searching for a reason to belong

Searching for a reason to fly

Searching for a reason to smile.